Kwotes - The better kwote database.
XXXngham: i need ebay ideas
XXX an si: your sister
XXXngham: shes worht 5 cents
XXX an si: LOL
XXX an si: ill bid 4.5 cents
XXXngham: sold
XXX an si: i was just doing a courtesy bump
XXX an si: fuck
XXXngham: works for me you breka it you buy it
bdizzle: there's a major problem online music distribution and places like iTunes allowing just _anyone_ into their library...
bdizzle: noise filtration
johnyDiesel: meh, does that bother you on the internet?
bdizzle: eh, not really.
bdizzle: and the good stuff is easy to find
johnyDiesel: i don't mind picking through crap if the whole pile is unfiltered and i know there are gemstones to be found :)
bdizzle: hehe
bdizzle: i guess it's like masturbation in the early morning
bdizzle: where you're not sure if you're awake enough to finish
bdizzle: and sometimes you keep going, and get burnt out and just get up and take a shower with a soar wrist/arm
johnyDiesel: lolol, exactly
bdizzle: but other times you're able to rub out a good one in the morning and it makes the day that much better
bdizzle: I'm kwotsing that
johnyDiesel: lol, cool
mtaurick: there was a baby crying in my building this morning that woke me up & wouldn't stop
jwormy: should have went and ate it
briandilleyownzu: so i played cooking mama
briandilleyownzu: STUPID fucking game
briandilleyownzu: but my daughters like it.
SMSGSMPalm: okay cool
SMSGSMPalm: so i don't have to try it myself
briandilleyownzu: it's A LOT cooler... like a billion times cooler than the DS version
briandilleyownzu: so you can imagine how stupid the DS version is
SMSGSMPalm: did you feel a vagina start to form as you played it though?
briandilleyownzu: yes
briandilleyownzu: it was forming right under my sack
briandilleyownzu: between my asshole and nuts
SMSGSMPalm: lol
SMSGSMPalm: that's cooking mama for you
briandilleyownzu: if i hadn't stopped when i did... it probably would have devoured my cock and balls.
SMSGSMPalm: most likely... fucking nintendo
juansolow: i wish my testicles were 32 feet long
juansolow: stringy, but round at the end
juansolow: so i could shove them in my ass, and fart them across the room like a cork gun
nycitibird9 : i wish i were a hypotenuse so i could get between your legs
finkel : i wish i was an augmented 6th chord so i could bring resolution to your raised member
nycitibird : i wish i was you're secant so i could touch you're curves twice.
finkel : yeah well i wish i was your derivative so i could lie tangent to your curves
nycitibird : would you like to meet my exponentially growing natural log?
finkel: i'll take you to your limit if you show me your end behavior
<jaminkle> he wanted to suck your wang dude
<@Rjx> jaminkle
<@Rjx> last night we decided
<@Rjx> you're stupid and should talk less
<@Rjx> because it makes people like Thero look smarter
gd: hey
gd: can you do me a favor?
td: I am coming over
gd: no
td: what's up?
gd: google "corn row pubes"
td: hell no
gd: LOL
gd: hes on his way
td: i know
gd: I like to cornrow my pubes & put beads there so that they can double as anal beads for my pleasure...
But when I want that fresh feeling I actually do shave my punani... Pubic hair traps odor & urine which is why I just avoid it
td: awesome
td: I am now closing this chat window
<@Topslakr|> hrmm.. i lost Slack10 Disc2 should i reburn or go with noKDE?
<+ste41th> burn it
<+ste41th> tell you what
<+ste41th> hack your cdrom apart. point the laser towards the UK, ill stand on my roof put the cd ona pencil and spin it round
<@Topslakr|> haha
<@Topslakr|> i have the iso on a HD..
<+ste41th> dont spoil my cd spinning fun
Jwormy: doood
Jwormy: so the girl gave me the clap
briandilleyownz: nice, she applauded your sexual performance?
Jwormy: haha no my piss smells like fish
<JiMMy> what's fapping ?
<newbie56k> ...
<JiMMy> english isn ot my mothern language, sorry
<newbie56k> what it sounds like
<newbie56k> JiMMy; Wat does fapping sound like?
<newbie56k> fap
<JiMMy> it sound like a lot of different things
<newbie56k> fap fap fap
<JiMMy> it could be anything
<newbie56k> ...
<JiMMy> what is it ?
<newbie56k> ...
* newbie56k pat pats JiMMy
<Fortune> a bird... flying
<newbie56k> loll
<newbie56k> no
<Weero> masturmabation <.<
<JiMMy> a bird?
<newbie56k> no
<Fortune> pigeon
<Fortune> taking off
<Weero> a bird flying is flap flap flap
<newbie56k> Fortune; thats flap
<JiMMy> Fortune good one
<Fortune> it doesnt sound like a flap
<Fortune> it sounds like fap
<newbie56k> ...
<Fortune> flap is the word
<Fortune> the sound effect is fap
<Fortune> :P
<JiMMy> Fortune go shoot yourself in the leg or something
<newbie56k> schlick
<newbie56k> schlick schilck
<Weero> it doesnt exactly sound like fap either, fortune
<Fortune> well closer to fap than flap
<newbie56k> schoop schoop
<JiMMy> onomatopey is not an exact science
<Weero> Fortune: fap doesn't have the sound impact of a flap
<newbie56k> ffffffuuu~~
<newbie56k> oh ma gawd
EB: i'm in my room again, i really think there's someone else in this house.
EB: like monsters or something.
TG: howie???
EB: haha I WISH.
TG: dude monsters arent real
TG: thats stupid kids stuff for stupid babies
EB: maybe. yeah you're right.
TG: what are you an idiot
TG: of course there are monsters in your house
TG: youre in some weird evil monster dimension come on
TG: skepticism is the crutch of cinematic troglodytes
TG: like hey mom dad theres a dinosaur or a ghost or whatever in my room. "yeah right junior go back to bed"
TG: fuck you mom and dad how many times are we going to watch this trope unfold it wasnt goddamn funny the first time i saw it
TG: just once id like to see dad crap his pants when a kid says theres a vampire in his closet
TG: "OH SHIT EVERYONE IN THE MINIVAN"
TG: be fuckin dad of the year right there
Ben174: you just had your fifth daughter and were sick of trying for a boy so you were gonna have a vasectomy, but you accidentally went to a vet and they neutered you but they felt bad that they screwed up so they let you take your balls home with you
Ben174: i went to your house to pick you up and was waiting out in my car and i yelled 'hey dude bring your balls!'
Ben174: and you brought it and it was the full nutsack with a little string at the top tied it closed
Ben174: i grabbed it and hung it from my rear view mirror where they remained for eternity
briandilleyownzu: dude, that's the best dream ever
Ben174: yea, needless to say i woke up with a smile on my face
<anubis> we need 10 printed pages from you Chris
<anubis> 10!
<ctanner> i can provide 10^0 pages
<anubis> 10^2 would be ideal
<ctanner> 10^0 is the maximum
<anubis> how about we just do 3^-3 and go home and play WoW?
<ctanner> i like the way you think
rede: I'm later than you!
SMSGSMPalm: lol, yeah... wow :-)
SMSGSMPalm: late night?
rede: yeah
rede: shfuck
SMSGSMPalm: lol
SMSGSMPalm: wait... that can either be read as hung over + got lucky... or bad night
rede: uhng iver
SMSGSMPalm: lol
rede: Jesus Robles
rede: awesome
SMSGSMPalm: so... am i supposed to take letters and words from your ims and make my own coherent sentences with them?
redemade: yes
Ben: Come over and hang out with me tonight.
Assley: Why its late
Ben: i got the lowest rate approved for your online pharmecutical membership Re: your viagra sweepstakes you've won!
ctanner: http://ctanner.matoya.org/Home/Files/furminator.jpg
ctanner: saw that in target a while back
ctanner: that deserves a spot on fail blog
James: the one we have is a much different design
James: it doesn't look like a dong at all.
Chuck: "New Improved Design! Doesn't Look Like a Dong At All!"
Chuck: FURMINATOR 2.0
bdizzle: it was nice to see that "The Dude" was running a multi-million dollar weapons manufacturing company in Iron Man.
smsgs: hahaahha, yeah
smsgs: he was a pretty evil dude too
smsgs: i guess they never should have taken his rug
bdizzle: lol
ownzyerbrainz: dude
ownzyerbrainz: so we have a new dog
ownzyerbrainz: a puppy
vagina4all: tight .. what breed
ownzyerbrainz: well, sorta growing out of puppydom
ownzyerbrainz: anyway
ownzyerbrainz: it's "pink thing" hangs out CONSTANTLY
ownzyerbrainz: it could be just fucking sitting there looking at you - and it's hanging out a few inches
vagina4all: chip it off
ownzyerbrainz: like, for no reason it's out
vagina4all: lick it
vagina4all: oh ahaha it's always always out ?
ownzyerbrainz: practically
ownzyerbrainz: anyway, it ALWAYS reminds me of our super stoned conversation about hat
ownzyerbrainz: where you just cut it off
ownzyerbrainz: and then walk up to yer buddy and be like "dude, look at this... it's weird - i can't tell what it is" and hand it to them to figure it out
vagina4all: hahahahahahahhhahhahahahaha
ownzyerbrainz: remember that shit?
vagina4all: yea slightly
ownzyerbrainz: we were ripped
vagina4all: i don't remember where/when but i definitely remember the topic
ownzyerbrainz: and our faces hurt from laughing so much
vagina4all: hahahahah that's awesome
ownzyerbrainz: and the back of my head hurt and shit from laughing so much
ginger_beard: any system of governance must account for human nature
ginger_beard: the fact is, we are not all enlightened sharing care bears
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/ /`_/_ _\_'\ \
/ '/ ( . )( . ) \ `\
<_ ' `--`___'`___'--' ` _>
/ ' @ @/ =\@ @ ` \
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/ / @@| o o|@@ \ \
' / @@@@@@@@ \ `
rjfmvp (7:54:18 PM): anywho, I should be doing work
rjfmvp (7:54:22 PM): but i'm fuckin' not
WINMADDOG31 (7:54:59 PM): you seem like a person who can accomplish a lot in life without doing much work
WINMADDOG31 (7:55:07 PM): gotta admire that
rjfmvp (7:55:40 PM): I try to be an under acheiving over acheiver, yes
WINMADDOG31 (7:56:06 PM): thats the best kind
I never quite figured out why the sexual urge of men and women differ so
much. And I never have figured out the whole Venus and Mars thing. I
have never figured out why men think with their head and women with
their heart.
FOR EXAMPLE:
One evening last week, my girlfriend and I were getting into bed. Well,
the passion starts to heat up, and she eventually says, "I don't feel
like it, I just want you to hold me."
I said, "WHAT??!! What was that?!"
So she says the words that every boyfriend on the planet dreads to hear...
"You're just not in touch with my emotional needs as a woman enough for
me to satisfy your physical needs as a man."
She responded to my puzzled look by saying, "Can't you just love me for
who I am and not what I do for you in the bedroom?"
Realizing that nothing was going to happen that night, I went to sleep.
The very next day I opted to take the day off of work to spend time with
her. We went out to a nice lunch and then went shopping at a big, big
unnamed department store. I walked around with her while she tried on
several different very expensive outfits. She couldn't decide which one
to take, so I told her we'd just buy them all. She wanted new shoes to
compliment her new clothes, so I said, "Lets get a pair for each outfit."
We went on to the jewelry department where she picked out a pair of
diamond earrings. Let me tell you... she was so excited. She must have
thought I was one wave short of a shipwreck. I started to think she was
testing me because she asked for a tennis bracelet when she doesn't even
know how to play tennis.
I think I threw her for a loop when I said, "That's fine, honey." She
was almost nearing sexual satisfaction from all of the excitement.
Smiling with excited anticipation, she finally said, "I think this is all
dear, let's go to the cashier."
I could hardly contain myself when I blurted out, "No honey, I don't
feel like it."
Her face just went completely blank as her jaw dropped with a baffled,
"WHAT?"
I then said, "Honey! I just want you to HOLD this stuff for a while.
You're just not in touch with my financial needs as a man enough for me
to satisfy your shopping needs as a woman."
And just when she had this look like she was going to kill me, I added,
"Why can't you just love me for who I am and not for the things I buy you?"
Apparently I'm not having sex tonight either....but at least that bitch
knows I'm smarter than her.
Alright Ladies. Forward this if you agree. Hell even if you disagree,
forward it anyway.
Men, forward this if you have BALLS !!!!
Jwormy: alsa shouldn't mute everything automatically..
Jwormy: and then i should remember that it does.
Jwormy: so when i turn the volume up... and then say 'oh yea, its muted'
Jwormy: it doesn't scare the FUCK out of me
Sie sagte mir: "Wir können uns kein Bier mehr leisten."
Gestern habe ich sie erwischt, wie sie sich für 65,- Euro Schminke gekauft hat.
Ich fragte sie, warum ich auf Sachen verzichten muss und sie nicht.
Sie sagte, sie brauche die Schminke, damit ich sie schön finde.
Darauf sagte ich: "Dafür hatte ich das Bier!".
Ich denke sie kommt nicht mehr zu mir zurück...
liquidflames18: i didn't like ramen for years because i think it looks like tapeworms
liquidflames18: tapeworms are like my mortal enemies
TheOneArmedNinja: Haha...
TheOneArmedNinja: That's awesome.
liquidflames18: i hate parasites so much
liquidflames18: and i'm convinced everyone has them
TheOneArmedNinja: I don't.
TheOneArmedNinja: o.o;
liquidflames18: YES YOU DO
liquidflames18: everyone does
liquidflames18: i know i do
TheOneArmedNinja: O.o;
kwickswitch: fuuuuuuuuck
briandilleyownzu: hmm?
kwickswitch: my zipper's been down for who know's how long
Benjamin Franklin Freedland: Dude! have you heard of 'felxing'? it's this awesome new mutual-masturbation technique that you and your buddies can do on each other, and not be considered gay at all!
r35157anc3: Anyway, I gave you a good review
Matt: cool thanks
r35157anc3: I said, "Give him a raise because he promised me a cut."
Matt: gee thanks
r35157anc3: I also said, "He shoots pool like a girl. Stick between the legs, you know?"
Matt: super
Matt: they're going to fire me
brian: did you get the poms i sent earlier?
scott: yeahhhhhhh
brian: lol
scott: there was supposed to be one h at the end of hat
scott: don't know how i did that
brian: yeah, i figured
brian: i thought of you saying "yeeaaaahhhh" like a rapper or something
brian: that was funny
sbark: microsoft has the visual studio 2005 beta available for download on their site
sbark: might take a look at that
sbark: but i can't find anywhere where it says what the new features are
sbark: which is a bad sign
brian: hehe
brian: "The menu is now transparent"
brian: "And you can minimize to the system tray"
brian: those are the new features
sbark: lol
sbark: great
sbark: "Quickly find and eliminate programming errors using an intuitive graphical debugger"
brian: lol
brian: so a little fucking puppy will pop up "You seem to have shitty code, would you like me to make it even worse?"
sbark: lol...exactly
* [Iron_Man] (IanCandy@210.50.136.12517) hat #maths betreten
[Iron_Man]: omg! hashmaths!
Gloomy`Sunday: omg welcome!
[Iron_Man]: omg thanks!
Gloomy`Sunday: omg no probs!
[Iron_Man]: omg how are you?
Gloomy`Sunday: omg good thnx!
Gloomy`Sunday: omg yourself?
[Iron_Man]: omg omg!
[Iron_Man]: omg, i'm so good!
Gloomy`Sunday: omg good to hear!
Gloomy`Sunday: omg brb!
nipuL: omg stfu
[Iron_Man]: omg blow me nipuL!
* ChanOP hat [Iron_Man] aus #maths gekickt ([nipuL] omg win!)
Gloomy`Sunday: lol
Gloomy`Sunday: omg oaned!
sergewalters: yo
jedir0x0r: y0
sergewalters: it's an amazing thing but after some thought I have figured out the real function of the human penis
jedir0x0r: masturbation?
sergewalters: it's for balance - like a cat's whiskers
jedir0x0r: eh?
sergewalters: see if you try walking down the street with your dork hanging out, it's an amazing thing, but you won't bump into anything
sergewalters: not only that but people will actually go out of their way not to bump into you aswell
sergewalters: balance
Jwormy: i did a php contract once dude
briandilleyownzu: php licks balls
briandilleyownzu: i'm so sick of it
Jwormy: then i did some more work for the company FOR FREE under the condition that they NEVER contact me again.
<SubZ[a]> i need some kinda easy thing which is easy to install
<SubZ[a]> lol
<dooky> thats not what we're here for ;)
<SubZ[a]> just thought u guys may have a recommendation on a piece of software i can buy
<driver8> it wouldn't be worth buying something so simple to write
<SubZ[a]> i cant and havent time to program
<SubZ[a]> so would buy it
<driver8> but if you want to I'll do it for $20 :P
Previous message was not received by rjfmvp because of error: User rjfmvp is not available.
yueeclipse: i sense a joke there
Previous message was not received by rjfmvp because of error: User rjfmvp is not available.
yueeclipse: DUDE I CAN STILL TYPE TO YOU! THIS IS THE SHIT!
Previous message was not received by rjfmvp because of error: User rjfmvp is not available.
yueeclipse: TeH RoxXoRs! So l33t!
Previous message was not received by rjfmvp because of error: User rjfmvp is not available.
yueeclipse: STOP POPPING UP!
Previous message was not received by rjfmvp because of error: User rjfmvp is not available.
yueeclipse: I SAID STOP!
Previous message was not received by rjfmvp because of error: User rjfmvp is not available.
yueeclipse: maybe if i stopped typing and hitting 'enter' it'd stop
Previous message was not received by rjfmvp because of error: User rjfmvp is not available.
yueeclipse: but it's SOOOO MUCH FUN!
Previous message was not received by rjfmvp because of error: User rjfmvp is not available.
yueeclipse: dude you are so fucking lame.
Previous message was not received by rjfmvp because of error: User rjfmvp is not available.
yueeclipse: and by lame you mean FUCKING AWESOME
Previous message was not received by rjfmvp because of error: User rjfmvp is not available.
yueeclipse: indeed. you have outsmarted me once again you genius you.
Previous message was not received by rjfmvp because of error: User rjfmvp is not available.
yueeclipse: i'm still kinda confused
Previous message was not received by rjfmvp because of error: User rjfmvp is not available.
yueeclipse: i mean i'm talking not even to an away message anymore
Previous message was not received by rjfmvp because of error: User rjfmvp is not available.
yueeclipse: yeah. you've upgraded from an away message to an error message
Previous message was not received by rjfmvp because of error: User rjfmvp is not available.
yueeclipse: well goodnight my man
Previous message was not received by rjfmvp because of error: User rjfmvp is not available.
yueeclipse: nice talking to you
Previous message was not received by rjfmvp because of error: User rjfmvp is not available.
gayVectorMan: when you see pom.xml do you ever read it as porn.xml?
gayVectorMan: cause i sure as heck do
gayVectorMan: r and n next to eachother look like an m
gayVectorMan: i half expect to see
<?xml version="1.0">
<porn>_)_)========D~~</porn>
Jwormy: i think you should make a rather simple game
Jwormy: ok invision this with me
Jwormy: your in texas
Jwormy: ok
Jwormy: your sitting atop this hill
Jwormy: with a river down below
Jwormy: you have one of the old turrents from WW2 aircraft carriers
Jwormy: mexicans are running across the river
Jwormy: you shoot them
Jwormy: yo uwin
Jwormy: but if one passes
Jwormy: he steals your job..and you lose
Ben: k one of the following circumstances occur:
Ben: a.) a chick calls me all horny and wants to fuck .. one who's normally not like that.. or
b.) chick that i kick it with often on a friend level, but never more than that .. one night decides to get dirty and gives up the pussy .
Ben: the above situations happen once in a while.. so .
Ben: based on that, i know that chick is extremely horny, and therefore ovulating ..
JeFF: right
JeFF: and if you sleep with her
JeFF: without wrapping your shit
JeFF: you'll have a kid
Ben: so, whenever that occurs i make a note of the date, and 28 days later i'm pretty much guaranteed the pussy ... just have to be extra careful to be protected.
JeFF: lmfao
JeFF: dude your an evil genius
Ben: haha it's great i have red flags all over my calendar for various chicks.. it's been working like fucking clockwork for the last several months
JeFF: really?
Ben: hella..... i just got a call right now from one that i had marked for tomorrow
Ben: talking dirty and everything
JeFF: dude that's awesome
Ben: haha for sure i'm very stoked on my new 'system'
Ben: i feel like i have one up from all the competition .. it's like a superpower to know when to be a little more aggressive.
JeFF: lmao
JeFF: it is dude
JeFF: your totally right
JeFF: it's like agile development applied to girls
Ben: hahaha
Ben: 28 seems to me the magic number, but mileage may vary
JeFF: 28 days later
JeFF: hahaha
Ben: hahahah
Ben: they should make a pr0ncalled 28 days later
JeFF: hahahaha hella
Dr. Testicle: next time I see you I'm going to kick your fucking ass
bdizzle: awesome
Dr. Testicle: are you scared bitch
Dr. Testicle: I'm going to get my hands replaced with bear paws so I can claw the shit out of you
bdizzle: i'm down to fight you
Dr. Testicle: with the bear paws?
bdizzle: but i don't think you'd like it very much
bdizzle: yeah
Dr. Testicle: and I'm going to replace my dick with a poisonous snake
Dr. Testicle: in case I get locked up in a grapple
bdizzle: lol
Vector174: if i were gonna write an app for linux.. i'd be cool and write EVERY part of it.. so there'd be no dependencies.. and everyone would like my app... cause it'd be so simple to install.
Vector174: and if there was a dependency i really really needed in my app.. i'd just go hit up the cvs on sf.net and steal their .c files and embed them in my app.
Vector174: ... then I'd take credit for it
Vector174: wow microsoft just called and offered me a job
<Mercyon> i imagine global destruction a little more violent
then toilet paper
<pandora-> a little, yes
<Mercyon> unless its that really rough paper toilet paper
<Mercyon> not the teddy bear stuff
<Mercyon> but the cheap knock off
<Mercyon> that stuff will tear your ass off in no time
<pandora-> lol
<pandora-> we're talkin like standard rule binder paper right?
<Mercyon> yeah
Charles Feduke: I'm almost done with my history class though
Brian: cool, what degree are you going for?
Charles Feduke: BS in Anthropology with a History minor
Charles Feduke: Chris and I are taking Latin next semester
Brian: Latin? wtf?
Brian: what the hell for?
Charles Feduke: I think its so Chris can go become a Catholic priest and molest little boys
Brian: a noble cause i guess
fecious187: You have to insert a tick tac into a dogs puss first, then they'll get moist for the fucking. FYI
ben.exe: how many northern cali foos does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
ben.exe: "hella"
<+Woody```> I saw a woman wearing a sweat shirt with "Guess" on it. So I said "Implants?" She hit me.
Phisher: Guten Tag, ich Mitarbeiter XYZ von der ABC-Bank.
Kunde: Ich kaufe nichts
Phisher: Ich will nichts verkaufen, ich will Ihnen helfen. Dazu
brauche ich Ihren Kundennamen und Ihr Kennwort.
Kunde: Ach so, meiner Username ist GeilerSack87 und mein Kennwort:
***********
Phisher: *********** kann nicht Ihr Kennwort sein
Kunde: Doch, immer wenn ich mich unterwegs anmelde und mache eine
Eingabe, erscheint am Bildschrim ***********
Phisher: Ja, was für Tasten drücken Sie denn, damit ***********
erscheint
Kunde: Es ist egal, was ich drücke, es erscheint immer *********** am
Bildschirm, dass Eingabefeld scheint kaputt zu sein. Können Sie das
Reparieren, dann kann ich ablesen, was ich eingegeben habe?
Phisher: Nein, der Defekt des Feldes ist leider nur sehr kompliziert
zu beheben. Beschreiben Sie mir doch bitte, welche Tasten Sie in
welcher Reihenfolge eingeben?
Kunde: Ich drücke die erste Taste, dann erscheint ein *, wenn ich die
zweite Taste drücke, erscheint wieder ein * usw
Phisher: Nein, Sie verstehen mich falsch, was ist auf den Tasten
aufgedruckt, die Sie drücken?
Kunde: Keine Ahnung, meine Tastatur ist so alt, das der Aufdruck
nicht mehr zu lesen ist. Aber es ist auch egal, es kommt ja doch
immer nur ein * an.
Phisher: Können Sie die Tastatur wechseln?
Kunde: Nein, aber ich kann die Seite mit meinen Notebook laden
Phisher: Tun Sie das Bitte
Kunde: Auch hier geht das Feld nicht, es erscheinen wieder nur
***********
Phisher: Ja, was haben Sie jetzt eingegeben?
Kunde: Meinen Nutzernamen und dann sind direkt die ***********
automatisch erschienen. Ich musste nichts weiter eingeben
Phisher: Arhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh
Wir sehen, das Leben als Phisher kann auch anstrengend sein ;)
Trixi - But on the up side
Trixi - I get to look at sea men as it is fleet week here in San Francisco
brink o o 7: Finally done installing Linux
brink o o 7: i love gnome man
briandilleyownz: you love gnome men?
briandilleyownz: what kind of sick freak are you?
jeff: http://www.baconsalt.com/
allen: because Everything should taste like bacon!
jeff: lol yep
allen: spinkle a little on yer woman... mmm-mmm - that's good eatin'
jeff: lmao
Vect: i'm on a phone meeting with this japanese chick again
Feesh: nice nice nice
Vect: She sounds very hot
Feesh: I've heard Japs do it up in the sack
Vect: should i ask her?
Feesh: yes
Feesh: for sure
Vect: what's something i can say to break the sexual tension but yet still remain professional
Feesh: ask her to debunk that myth
Feesh: tell her that you're buddy wants to know
Vect: hahah
Vect: that's not prof.
Feesh: hahahaha
Feesh: hmmm
Feesh: lets see
Feesh: ask her if she's ever seem memoirs of a geisha
Vect: hahahah
Vect: nice
Feesh: hhahahaha
Feesh: hahahahaha
Vect: that's fuckin great
Feesh: hahahaha
Vect: but i'm not even on that level yet with her
Feesh: oh oh
Feesh: do you guys flirt and whhhat not?
Vect: the last few lines of our conversation have been 'ok lemme restore the backup and try again - ok - ok i'm reconnecting - ok'
Feesh: hahahaha
Feesh: I see i see
Vect: 'i'm almost connected one sec' - 'i don't see anything coming in '
Feesh: hahaha
Vect: 'ok i see you connected now .. initiate the packets' - 'ok sending '
Vect: 'hmm.. yea i still don't see anything coming through'
Vect: 'yea i don't see any acknowledgement' - 'have you seen memoirs of a geisha'
Feesh: you should tell her that she sounds either bored or married
<ramza2> you know you have been working too hard, when you everytime you go home you press '9' before calling someone, I did that yesterday
A Schwan's representative will be with you shortly. Please wait for a response before typing in the smaller window below.
Chat Information Hello my name is Corissa. How may I help you?
Brian: I'm wondering if schwans does same day deliveries... do they?
Corissa: May I have your phone number with area code first so I can access your account information?
Brian: XXX-XXX-XXXX
Corissa: Am I speaking with Brian XXXXXX?
Brian: Yes.
Corissa: I'm sorry for the delay. I'll be right with you.
Brian: That's ok, I'm shaving my testicles anyway.
Corissa: Unfortunately, Schwan's does not have the same day deliveries available. I will forward a message to the local Schwan's Department. Someone should be contacting you about your message.
Brian: ok, thanks.
Corissa: Are there any additional questions that I can help you with regarding our website?
Brian: Nope, i'm just about done shaving now... I'll just run across the street and get something to eat instead.
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Brian: Have a nice day.
Brian: I'm going to shave my asshole next.
Chat Information Your chat session has been terminated by your Schwan's representative.
Seismofish (11:57:34 PM): I really love online battling with pokemon
Seismofish (11:57:45 PM): but I hate that EVERYONE is a sore loser, and winner.
Seismofish (11:58:47 PM): they're all like "blah! you have the most Overused team I've ever seen, get some skills!"
Seismofish (11:59:02 PM): and I know I don't
Seismofish (11:59:08 PM): I'm SURE I don't
Seismofish (11:59:22 PM): and this is after they win
Seismofish (12:00:20 AM): and I made a team with all mudkips
Seismofish (12:00:25 AM): and named them
Seismofish (12:00:43 AM): "lol" "i" "herd" "u" "leik" and "me!"
<Weero> ok, I'm now watching the first episode of Dexter
<Weero> and I have only one question
<Weero> why is he using a mac?
<Ark||SinsOfASolarEmpire> XD
<SNYKE> BECAUSE HE'S AN ARTFAG!
<SNYKE> Have you not seen the clothes he wears?
<SNYKE> turtle necks
<konflikti> Artfag!
<Weero> lawl artfag
<sweetkitten_111> I am in the mood for lazy sex so freaking weird
<QDawg> hehe
<QDawg> lucky you!
<sweetkitten_111> Lazy isnt the right word
<sweetkitten_111> slow
<Majickman> hahaha
<Majickman> lots of spooning
<sweetkitten_111> take the time type thing nvrmind i'm in lala
<sweetkitten_111> land
<Majickman> and foreplay
<sweetkitten_111> hey foreplay makes the sex good
<Majickman> yes it does
<QDawg> mmmm
<sweetkitten_111> sorry was giving hubby head I gotta finish this quick thenim off to finish
<QDawg> haahahahahahh
<QDawg> you just made my night sk hahah
<sweetkitten_111> I'm glad but I wasnt kidding i'm off I gotta beat hgim to the bedroom I madea bet and intend to win
* sweetkitten_111 has quit (Leaving: Bye, oh.. and... XRM ROCKS!!.)
<QDawg> haha!
<QDawg> damnit.
<Majickman> hahaha
<QDawg> i cant wait until they can clone people.
<QDawg> :D
* Majickman roflmao
<QDawg> laugh it up! you think the exact same thing! haha
* Majickman nods
<jedir0x> #nut-sack Holy Balls Of Super Anus Juice And Crack Whores
<jedir0x> Holy Balls Of Super Anus Juice And Crack Whores
<COL4> ..
<jedir0x> Holy Balls Of Super Anus Juice And Crack Whores... BATMAN... WE MUST FUCK SHEEP AND RAPE LITTLE DOGS WITH THE LIDS FROM TRASHCANS... IT IS OUR DESTINY TO DO SO AND WE WOULD BE DEFYING GOD IF WE DIDN'T!
<COL4> SlapUman
<COL4> ^^you're one fucked up mofo, thats for sure! :D
<jedir0x> NO ROBIN
<jedir0x> WE MUST REMAIN CALM
<jedir0x> BUT BAT....
<jedir0x> NO ROBIN!
<jedir0x> ok..
<jedir0x> holy battles of justice and purity, my balls have fallen to the floor in one last glorious fight for vengance and truth.
<COL4> lol
<jedir0x> BUT BATMAN... YOUR PENIS IS SO SMALL
<jedir0x> fuck you robin
<jedir0x> NO BATMAN, FUCK YOU
<jedir0x> FUCK YOU BECAUSE I AM NOT ROBIN
<jedir0x> you arent?
<jedir0x> NO, I AM THE JOKER IN DISGUISE
<jedir0x> AND I'VE COME TO FUCK SHEEP AND RAPE LITTLE DOGS WITH THE LIDS OF TRASHCANS
<jedir0x> CAN'T YOU SEE?
<jedir0x> aahhhh yes robin, i see the green nose now... weird.
<COL4> lmao
<jedir0x> FUCK YOU, I'M NOT ROBIN YOU STUPID BAT EARED TWAT FUCKER
<sebster> lol..wtf?!
<jedir0x> sorry robin, but this is no time for talk... you are not really who you think you are
<jedir0x> you are really the joker
<jedir0x> and i must kill you now
<jedir0x> WHAT THE FUCK IS YOUR FUCKING PROBLEM YOU RAT WITH WINGS?
<jedir0x> DIDN'T I JUST TELL YOU THAT?
<jedir0x> GOD DAMNIT BATMAN I WANT YOU DEAD
<jedir0x> you know what robin, you are a real dick
<COL4> lol
<jedir0x> I'm sorry but your fire
<jedir0x> FIRED? WHAT THE FUCK? I'M NOT EVEN..
<jedir0x> shush
<jedir0x> leave now, you are fired
<jedir0x> ARRRGRGRG!! FUCK YOU BATMAN
<jedir0x> FUCK YOU TO HELL
<jedir0x> FUCK YOU AND EVERYONE ELSE TO HELL YOU DAMN STUPID FUCKING ASS RAPIST
<jedir0x> and that, my masked friend, is why you are fired.
<jedir0x> good night
<jedir0x> _the end_
<COL4> lmao
<jedir0x> thank you for watching the Roberto dilley improve minute
<COL4> Great story.. Send it to hollywood.. :P
<jedir0x> this story has been brought to you by the letter %
misty: jeff, if i send you pictures as we discussed you will be horribly blinded and have to quit your job and seeing as you live in california theres no way you can survive on disability
jeff: its cool i have my "ugly bitch" glasses on
jeff: they protect from harmful UB rays
misty: lmao
Kellie (12:53 PM): can i kill the creators of Vista and/or Firefox???
Amber (12:54 PM): Vista first please.
Kellie (12:55 PM): ok
Kellie (12:56 PM): knowing them, I'll get a permissions screen right before I shoot them..."do you know this person attempting to run 'murder.exe.'?" "Allow / Deny"
Jwormy: So Crystal reports support lets you buy questions.
Jwormy: or buy phone calls
Jwormy: so i'm like.. sweet.. 10 bucks per call
Jwormy: righhhhhhtt
Jwormy: 195$ per call
Jwormy: or 500$ if you buy a bundle of 5! hooray!
Jwormy: what the FUCK
Jwormy: Service in English. PLEASE NOTE: Crystal Single Case is not software;
Jwormy: see you pay so fucking much, people think it is software
Jwormy: since when do you pay 195 for a phone call?\
Jwormy: you could talk to sex lines for HOURS for that
Jwormy: dude, why the fuck do programmers use some weird foriegn language for filler text?
briandilleyownz: that's lorem ipsum dude: http://www.lipsum.com/
Jwormy: wow
Jwormy: i learned something
Jwormy: and here i am searching for a latin anal sex story
Jwormy: to use as filler text
Jwormy: muhhaha
briandilleyownzu: lol
<snipe> god she just won't stop talking...
<Xinux> gawd.
<Ringwraith`> tell her to stfu
<jwormy> damn women
<jwormy> i put my balls on mines forehead (literally)
<jwormy> she won't talk when i do that for fear of them going in her mouth
<snipe> jwormy: uhm.. I'm talking to my *mom*
<jwormy> oh
<jwormy> hehe
<jwormy> well
Ben: fucking fecious... he was caught in his room a long time ago drawing dirty pictures .. he stashed the pictures, but his dad walked in the room and smelled the marker
Ben: he thought he was sniffing markers
BDizzle: HAHAHA
Ben: he DEMANDED that he see the pictures that he was drawing
Ben: luckily steve (fecious) had a picture of the name 'dave' that he drew to show someone how sick his friend tagged the name 'dave' (mind you, they were in jr. high.. didn't know anything about graffiti.. so he found the picture of 'dave' and showed it to his dad.. and his dad was ok with it
Ben: i stole this 'dave' picture from steve, and scanned it in http://www.bugben.com/drop/dwh.gif
Ben: then i superimposed it on the bridge and sent it to him and i was like :
Ben:
Ben: i was walking down the river the other day, and i saw some HELLA sick graffiti.
fecious187: oh realy?
fecious187: sick sick
Ben: yea, usually i'm not into graffiti too much, but this was an exception
Ben: http://www.bugben.com/drop/sick-graffiti.png
fecious187: hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha
fecious187: Fucing sick!!!!!
fecious187: wow
fecious187: FUcking amazing graffiti!
fecious187: hahahahaha
fecious187: Some professional shit right there.
[10:18:20] <finn> .
[10:19:43] <Defcon_> ..
[10:20:15] <finn> needed to see the time :p
[10:20:28] <finn> didn't find a proper clock for my taskbar yet
[10:20:28] <BenKenobi> thank god, i thought we switched to braille.
GargantuantWang: rrrAAAAWR!
Momokatte: http://dictionary.reference.com/search?q=gargantuant
GargantuantWang: Of immense size, volume, or capacity; gigantic. See Synonyms at enormous.
GargantuantWang: i spelled it right
GargantuantWang: you can add the t
GargantuantWang: gargantuan
GargantuantWang: shit
GargantuantWang: you can't
Momokatte: heh
Momokatte: owned.
Momokatte: so you're a gargantuan twang.
Momokatte: which I guess means you have a really heavy Texas accent.
Momokatte: :P
GargantuantWang: Sorry, GargantuanWang is already in use.
GargantuantWang: Damnit!
(15:30:47) Jwormy: man i hate programming for a job
(15:30:53) briandilleyownz: lol
(15:30:54) briandilleyownz: why?
(15:30:58) Jwormy: maybe i would be happier if i was getting paid in time..
(15:31:02) Jwormy: rather than just at the end
(15:31:12) Jwormy: i guess i feel like i'm not getting anywhere
(15:31:15) Jwormy: like i enjoy programming
(15:31:19) Jwormy: but all this business shit sucks ass
(15:31:25) Jwormy: like i don't want to meet with this mother fucker
(15:31:32) Jwormy: i gotta take the pictures of tits off my wallpaper
(15:31:37) Jwormy: put up my fluffy handcuffs
(15:31:52) Jwormy: clean up the beer cans and take all the astroglide off my night stand
(15:30:53) briandilleyownz: lol
faffy : apparently the big boss is coming to visit today, u should see these dudes scrambling
faffy : if he shoots lasers at me and floats around, well, i wish to fight him
smsgsmpalm : lol, excellent
smsgsmpalm : don't forget though
smsgsmpalm : final bosses tend to have 2-3 stages
smsgsmpalm : so don't exhaust all of your energy on his first form
Ben: so my lil brother.. everytime i catch him doing something wrong i always threaten to tell my mom.. cause he gets so scared.. it's just my fucked up older brother way of fucking with him
fecious187: yes...
Ben: anyway the other day i was in his room and i found this giant bubbler in his drawer
Ben: nice one too
Ben: i didn't know he blazed, but now i do
fecious187: no fucking way
fecious187: hahahahaha
fecious187: no way
fecious187: wowzers
fecious187: do you think your mom knows about said?
Ben: anyway his status message on aim is : 'b0mb-bombombomb' ..
Ben: nah and i won't tell her i don't want her to stress
Ben: but his status message on aim is : 'b0mb-bombombomb' ..
fecious187: yea
fecious187: hahahahahahaha
fecious187: so he's got the bomb huh?
Ben: i just wrote:
Ben: Ben: hahah 'b0mb-bombombomb' ..
Ben: Ben: i'm telling 'm0m-momomomom'
fecious187: hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha
fecious187: hahahahahahahahahahahaha
Ben: hahahahahaah hella
fecious187: fucking perfect
fecious187: hahahahahahahahahahahah
Ben: it's great fucking with him
fecious187: thats awesome.
fecious187: fuck
fecious187: How old is he?
Ben: like 16
fecious187: hahaha
fecious187: awesome
<ShadowMog> "Here, every day, the slain warriors who will assist Odin in Ragnarök, the gods' final conflict with the giants, arm themselves for battle and ride forth by the thousands to engage in combat on the plains of Asgard. "
<ShadowMog> They're in waiting for Ragnarok
<ShadowMog> nerds wouldn't die through mortal combat on the plains of asgard everyday
<ShadowMog> although...I can see them playing counter strike for days on end
<Raohthekenoh> I'd call Loki on Maphacking
<Weero> <ShadowMog> nerds wouldn't die through mortal combat on the plains of asgard everyday <- we'd have mortal flame wars on the plains of asgard everyday
<Raohthekenoh> Nerds would die in Mortal KOMBAT on the plains of Asgard every day
<Raohthekenoh> or street fighter 3
<Weero> XD
briandilleyownz:
Dear Jonathon,
This is Brian Christopher Dilley. I was wondering if you'd like to go for a smoke on the balcony.
-Thanks, Brian.
SMSGSMPalm: Dear Brian,
Thanks for thinking of me, however, I have a deadline I am fighting at the moment.
Your pal,
-Jonathan
briandilleyownz:
Dear Jonathon,
That's for the prompt reply, I will pursue said exercise on my own.
-Thanks, Brian.
Jonathan: Yo! I found a complete doom III walkthrough!!!
Jonathan: Shoot enemy. Open door, shoot other enemy. Open door, shoot other enemy. Opendoor, shoot other enemy. Turn corner, shoot two enemies. Open door,shoot other enemy. Open door, shoot other enemy, shoot two enemies.Open door, shoot other enemy. Open door, shoot other enemy. Turncorner, shoot two enemies. Open door, shoot other enemy, shoot otherenemy, open door, shoot everything, turn corner, enter room and shootall enemies. Turn corner, shoot two enemies. Open door, shoot otherenemy, turn right. Enter room. Shoot all three enemies. Open next door.Shoot all four enemies. Open next door. Shoot all five enemies. Opennext door. Shoot all six enemies. Turn corner, shoot three enemies.Open door, shoot other enemy, shoot other enemy, open door, walkforwards for ages, shoot everything, turn corner, enter room and shootall enemies. Exit through door on right. Shoot enemies, walk forwards,shoot more enemies. Turn corner, shoot two enemies. Open door, shootother enemy, turn right. Shoot all three enemies. Open next door. Shootall four enemies. Battle big monster thing in arena bit. Exit to theright. Shoot all three enemies. Open next door. Shoot all four enemies.Walk forwards, shoot two enemies. Open door, shoot other enemy, shootother enemy, open door, shoot everything, turn corner, enter room andshoot all enemies. Walk forwards, turn right. Open door, shoot otherenemy. Open door, shoot other enemy, shoot two enemies. Fight boss.
Kellie (11:36 PM): john has me in a headlock
Kellie (11:36 PM): in his sleep
Kellie (11:36 PM): i don't think he's aware of it
Kellie (11:36 PM): he better not be
Amber (11:37 PM): put your thumb in his ass. he'll either break your neck or let go really fast
Kellie (11:37 PM): lmfao
Kellie (11:37 PM): i like my thumb. and my neck
Amber (11:37 PM): im not saying its a safe move, but its effective either way
Kellie (11:37 PM): pluse he's laying on his back and he's clothed
Amber (11:38 PM): well i didnt say it was going to be easy either
<sebster> er ikke sen fan..holder bare med dem..de var jo store dengang jeg var en lille dreng
<COL4> Haha
<COL4> dengang i 80erne :D
<sebster> jep
<COL4> Med Mlby p holdet!
<COL4> helten fra Kolding
<sebster> jep
<jedi|WORK> fucking bastards
<jedi|WORK> stop that jibberish shit
<jedi|WORK> this is #nut-sack, not #gnute-zachen
<Weero> If I like building PC's, like biology, and have photographing(digital SLR) as a hobby, do I qualify as a nerd? :o
<Ruggles> Weero, you're so nerd you shit taped up glasses
ClimbnRok: brb
RobertoOwnz: brb
RobertoOwnz: (that was your brb in reverse)
ClimbnRok: PrP oh yeah? well that is the brb with the b's upside down
RobertoOwnz: drd
RobertoOwnz: that's with the b's reversed, and the r the same
ClimbnRok: oro... without the verticle lines
RobertoOwnz: lrl only the vertical lines
ClimbnRok: hrh no bottoms
RobertoOwnz: crc
RobertoOwnz: backwards with no vertical lines
ClimbnRok: nice
ClimbnRok: qrq.. what it would look like if you rotated the b's 180
RobertoOwnz: grg rotated the b's, and bent the vertical line
ClimbnRok: ara ... horozontal flip and bent lines
RobertoOwnz: damn
RobertoOwnz: you got me
ClimbnRok: haha
<anubis> I registered at rentacoder.com and bid on a bunch of projects
<anubis> like, typical bid was $100
<anubis> I got underbid by Indians for amounts of $1 and $10
<ctanner> what is rentacoder?
<anubis> web site were you bid on projects and get outbid by Indians
Jon: details are out
Jon: 2K is indeed raping x-com
Jon: and by raping i mean they went into x-com's bedroom when it was sleeping
Jon: stabbed it like 40-50 times with a big knife
Jon: raped every one of those knife wounds
Jon: and then shitted in them
Jon: and then punched x-com in the face, said "fuck you, you are not a good lay" and left the room
SMSGSMPalm: btw, we need to create a new mmo called Hour of Magic Online
SMSGSMPalm: or HoMO for short
SMSGSMPalm: then when people ask what mmos you like, you could say "wow, homo"
[10:10pm] link2126:
I'm tired
[10:12pm] link2126:
wanna dip ur crumpets in mah tea?
[10:12pm] XAnubisX:
oh yes!
[10:12pm] link2126:
Oh yeah babeh
[10:12pm] link2126:
what flavor tea?
[10:13pm] link2126:
would you like?
[10:13pm] XAnubisX:
hmmm... how about earl gray
[10:13pm] link2126:
fantabulous, my favorite
[10:13pm] link2126:
Wow I don't even know how to proceed
[10:13pm] XAnubisX:
your a noob then
[10:13pm] link2126:
:'(
[10:14pm] XAnubisX:
how would you like me to dip my crumpet?
[10:14pm] link2126:
sounds good?
[10:14pm] link2126:
lol wait
[10:14pm] XAnubisX:
virgin! laff
[10:14pm] XAnubisX:
anyways your tea is probably to small for my crumpet
[10:15pm] link2126:
yeah, sideways at a 45 degree angle
[10:15pm] XAnubisX:
im going to play css later
[10:15pm] link2126:
aww
[10:16pm] link2126:
yeah that was weird anyway
Racist 0: if a young nigger wanted to sync one directory to another, recursively, excluding all instances of files named 'web.config' what command would you recommend that nigger use?
Racist 1: killall self
Racist 0: killall niggers
bdizzle: hey
bdizzle: mother fucker
bdizzle: are you fucking a mother right now?
RockClimber: not right now.. its mother fucking break time
JeFF: but its the same problem with metric and imperial
JeFF: metric is way better
JeFF: but america wont switch
Ben: is THAT what it's fuckin called???? imperial?
Ben: i've asked nine BILLION people that fuckin question
JeFF: lmao
JeFF: yeah
Ben: and i get answers as stupid as "um, i think it's called farenheit"
bdizzle: god damn, i was stoned as shit this weekend
bdizzle: WTFN00bError.java
bdizzle:
/**
* OMFG, n00bz....
* @author brian
*
*/
@SuppressWarnings("serial")
public class WTFN00bError
extends Error {
bdizzle:
/**
* Base unchecked exception class.
* @author brian
*
*/
@SuppressWarnings("serial")
public class NestingError
extends WTFN00bError {
sced: wait, is that code that you actually wrote?
bdizzle: yes, and checked in.
sced: haha
sced: nice
briandilleyownzu: one of these days one of these startups are going to make me rich as fuck
Jon: never trust anything that wears its skeleton on the outside
Jeff: (olson twins)
Jon: hahahahahaha
Jon: exactly
Ben: u ever hit ctrl-s in a conversation window cause you like what you just wrote and don't want to lose it
Ben: like u know
Ben: not realizing it's a conversation window
Roberto: plenty of times
Ben: yea cause you're a freak on the ctrl-s
Ben: you hit it literally after every character you type
Roberto: I used windows for a long time...
Roberto: hehe
Ben: v ctrl-s o ctrl-s i ctrl-s d ctrl-s ctrl-s m ctrl-s a ctrl-s i ctrl-s n ctrl-s ( ctrl-s ) ctrl-s
<ctanner> 21. Executive dashboard, you cannot export.
<ctanner> are complete sentences too much to ask for?
<ctanner> Website broke, you fix now. Me sit on ass.
Carlos: rm -rf brian
brian:
find /carlos -name 'testicles'
find: nothing found
Carlos: you should have done
touch /carlos/testicles
touch: too big
